Films that you could spend Christmas watching 2023

7 from this year, 7 from years past

2023 Films you may have missed, which is a crime!

7. Theater Camp

The lightest fare on this list, and still manages to punch in the gut. This one’s for the annoying musical theatre kids to have some healing and representation, which I’m all for because I am one. Star-making turn by Noah Galvin.

6. Poor Things

Well written, gorgeously performed, an art piece of complete wonder. Massive trigger warnings for Sex — the way it’s explored in this film is prolific. There isn’t, to my recollection, anything non-consensual, but it does feel very old-school feminism — liberation by way of sex. I will grant it one honor, it doesn’t feel very male-gaze-y (until it tries to do Lesbianism), which is a massive feat for a male director to accomplish.

5. Strange Way of Life

I have publicly and privately said enough about this masterpiece, it’s everywhere now, go watch it.

4. Passages

If you’ve ever seen or read the play C*ck, it’s basically that, but even more intensely frustrating, and ultimately, the two lovers both get their justice against the terrible, bad bisexual man who simply “cannot choose”. The play is one of my favorites, and this film has immense patience and fantastic writing — but I am looking forward to the movie about very boring bisexuals who are happy in their relationship… or the more common archetype, not often explored — the bisexual cringe-fail loser who gets absolutely 0 play. I shall keep waiting.

3. The Sweet East

Bonkers. If you can find a screening (New York, looking at u!), run, and I mean truly run. Although trigger warnings for graphic Violence of every kind, because it’s a critique of America. No spoilers, get got.

2. Bottoms

A turning point in modern cinema toward the future I’ve been excited to witness. Deeply hilarious, deeply serious, and gorgeous to look at.

1. Past Lives

There is nothing I can say about this masterpiece that hasn’t already been said. You will cry if you allow yourself to, but more than anything, you will be romanced.

Old Films I discovered this year, which you may also like,

in no particular order

7. 8 1/2 (1963)

What no one tells you about the validity of the claims around this being one of the best films ever made, aside from that it is blatantly a vanity project for Fellini, and that directors like to big up projects they feel they would want to make about themselves — is that Marcello Mastroianni is incredibly beautiful to look at, and beautiful people will smooth over any incongruence. It’s also heartbreakingly honest, in a way that few storytellers ever are. I don’t often give men a pass for bad behavior just because they know they’re behaving badly — but Guido is the exception. Also, I maybe want to be him a little bit but we stay silly.

6. Cabaret (1972)

I don’t need to say anything about this masterpiece other than it’s more timely to watch now than ever. FOSSEEEEEE!!!!!

5. Shiva Baby (2020)

The way Emma Seligman makes films will be studied. She has, in only two features, shown an incredible mastery of suspense and stakes, the kind that doesn’t make me want to leave the cinema or switch the TV off. The language, both visual and verbal, that she uses — I’m a superfan and I’m not leaving until they turn on the lights. This film is absolutely stacked with ideas, tension, heart, authenticity, and humor.

4. Atomic Blonde (2017)

Even my one gripe with the film was resolved by the very end. I stumbled upon it recently and lost my mind, and had that moment where I felt I was witnessing one of my favorite things ever, that I’d be referencing for a long, long time. It gives kick-ass, it gives beauty and cinematography, of course, it gives John Wick and Violence, but I actually adore most of David Leitch’s filmography so far — the kind of action films I respond to most.

3. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

This one is for the girls who really don’t want to watch a film where things go terribly wrong — where even the bad things go well? That’s this film, and it’s the most gorgeous, heartwarming cotton candy. Also, John Leguizamo Marry Me challenge.

2. Bound (1996)

So I’m in the middle of a bit of a Wachowski’s era, and it started with this film, which unfolds with a terrifying pace once it gets going, and has a very 90’s understated but still arthouse visual language. Also, Lesbians! Which is always a welcome achievement.

1. Frances Ha (2012)

Feral Girls rise — many films saw me and understood who I wanted to be, but very few of them knew me as I am. This one? Greta knows me.

💕Merry Chrystler💕

Stay safe, keep ya mask on, Free Palestine,

UMNIA

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