Every Luca Guadagnino Film I’ve seen, ranked

4. Bones and All

Too long and too narratively messy, but it makes up for it in very simple and well-crafted visual storytelling. The performances between Chalamet and Russell seem to be talking past each other. Dialogue was pretty atrocious, I can’t work out why. Costuming, Pacing, Copious amounts of Blood and Vore - all passable. The Edit was fine.

3. Call My By Your Name

I have now watched this film thrice, and each time I find more issues with it, despite it's unmatched world-building and visual nostalgia. The performances can’t be put aside, either - they still hold up. I just find the pacing bad. Each time I watch it, I feel the pacing gets worse. It doesn’t feel patient, it feels laborious - because i’m not picking up new details each time. It’s the same details each time.

It’s forgiven all of its pacing issues because you can just zone out and enjoy the visuals, but I did feel, multiple times in the hours of the film, that I wished I could get my phone out and do some work in the meantime. Blasphemy, I know. Now, you understand.

2. A Bigger Splash

I’ve never really vibed with Ralph Fiennes and Dakota Johnson, but both of them absolutely stole this, and I developed crushes on the both of them. I adore this kind of filmmaking, from the visual aspect to the specific way the conflict is set up, and the lightness of the camera and editing. I was inspired to make stuff throughout, which is how I know a movie is really good (or, really bad in a way that’s pissing me off, but not in this case!).

(I do want to try to make European Films with European sensibilities that bring back the curvaceous figure, and don’t revert to Small = Elegant. If i’m missing that filmmaking somewhere in the modern day, please send me to it.)

1. Challengers

By far, his best film of all i’ve seen. Paced effortlessly, with performances that stick to each other like superglue. An unmatched tension that is neither overhyped or broken throughout the entire runtime. An ending that sneaks up on you, and leaves you wanting more. Visuals that are at once active and still, aggressive shots paired with patient ones. Intoxicating, addicting, and one of my favourites of all time.

In conclusion - whether I like a Luca film or not seems entirely based on script. His visuals never disappoint me, only the pacing of them as dictated by the story. He never goes faster than the story on the page, he follows it like gospel, which leads to these inconsistent results over consecutive films.

He’s a genius though, one that cannot be overlooked or dismissed, for when he holds gold in his hands (Justin Kuritzkes), he knows how to make it shine.

I can’t wait for “Queer”.